Breaking Free

I wanted to write a bit of a personal post here to all of my friends and clients I have met over the last several years of being on Facebook, having my shop, and through various other Pagan or conjure affiliated groups.

The muse behind this post is recent events calling out my past, my authenticity, my credentials, my culture, etc. As I said, that was the muse. This post is not about proving anyone wrong. Everyone is entitled to their own thoughts and opinions and they are absolutely free to express those and that's a beautiful thing! This post is for those who have supported me, my shop, and my family. I hope this helps you know a bit more about who you have been sticking up for:)

Here are a few tidbits;

-I am ordained and initiated in my family's tradition.
-I am not initiated in Palo, Vodou, Santeria, Lucumi. I am a spiritualist and spiritualists, like Pagans, can pray and work for anyone who will listen to them and their community. I do not need an initiation to hear the divine because I heard it before I was ordained or initiated.
-I was raised Pagan. It sounds exciting but, just as any other cultural or religious upbringing, it was boring and made me feel different from my peers. This led to a lot secrecy as I felt that I could not be my true self or express my values or beliefs among my peers. What most of you are going through now, I went through too, just at a younger age.
-I use the descriptors of witch, hoodoo, herbalist and conjure woman.
-I have no other credentials because, at this time, no other initiations are necessary for me on my path. Though this can always change and probably will...I hope it will.
-I am all mixed up; Finnish, Hungarian, Jew, and Black.
-My family is from the Appalachian mountains. My great, great grandma Ruby was from Shady Grove, Kentucky. It's a dry county. We make moonshine. There is a general store, a motel, and a restaurant called Druther's. We all make fun and say it's called that because "you'druther not eat there". Ruby was a healer and my great grandmother (Lucy) was a seer. Then, they say, it skips two generations so my grandmother and mother got nothing, again, so they say.
-My secret dream and goal; to have either my business or my husband's eventually be a not-for-profit. We are on our way with my husband's carpentry/contracting business! Last year he worked nearly 50% pro bono. Our dream is to build and fix houses for those who need them, not just those who can afford them.

I've had a coven, (pictured above! That's me on the far right:) still with about 50% of it's original members, for nearly 13 years. 50% of your original members is a miracle after that long. Before I had children, I traveled giving lectures and workshops at Witch's Balls, women's retreats, Pagan Pride Days. etc. I try to be active in my Pagan community here and have been offered a position helping to run our PPD, which I am considering taking. So, for those saying that I "popped up of out nowhere". I guess I did...13 years ago.

My thoughts on initiations;
Initiation of any sort-baptisms, etc-can be wonderful, life changing, path lining experiences. However, they are not necessary in all practices or beliefs. For instance hoodoo is a practice, not a religion. Therefore, you gain rank through experience, practice, serving your peers/community, and by simply putting in time. I do not believe one needs to pay hundreds of dollars for a course to learn rootwork. Those classes are fun and educational I am sure. If they help you, then they are wonderful! But not necessary to live this path.

So if everyone MUST be initiated, then who initiated the first priests and priestesses of a path, religion, or tradition? I've always been confused by those who tell me that I MUST be initiated into the path(s) of the items I sell in my shop in order to sell them.

The "cultural appropriation" is sometimes accused of the items I make and sell for my clients practicing Santeria, Lucumi and Vodou. Which, I might add, are REQUESTED of me to make. I serve my clients in their paths of servitude. However, I find it odd that no one ever makes a fuss over the Norse, Celtic, and Egyptian items I sell. No one from Norway or Ireland is harassing me about how I'm not initiated in Celtic or Nordic traditions or that I am not from Ireland, Scandinavia or Egypt, therefore, I can't sell items representing their deities either.

This fuss is made without  actually knowing my race or culture, my families beliefs or practices. You know what they say about assuming...

I suppose I am only to make items for people who are Black, Jew, and Hungarian, since that's what I am. Since that is my "culture" and all I am "qualified" to do. Well, I guess that would just be me making things for myself then.

This is the deal; I make items for OTHER devotees to use. Because I'm a medium. I do not make items that ONLY my path would use. I make items to serve many devotees of many paths! That's your job as a medium. You are a go-between, making tools to aid others in their service to their deities and spirits.

As for culture and race. There is a lot going around about how "white" folks can't practice hoodoo and so on. Really? At this point in our history, and in this country no less, who in the hell can guess someone's race or culture?! We are all just big bags of mixed up mud from everywhere around this world. Anyone pontificating such things has no education in American history. No information of Maafa (the African holocaust), Marie Laveau, New Orleans Catholics, or New Orleans Vodou. Because once it all hit here, it melted with all sorts of new traditions, people, customs,languages, and colors. It's like saying that just because someone is from New Orleans that they know hoodoo, that they are the "real deal". Marie Laveau herself was 7/8 white and 1/8 black and our current Voodoo Queen, Sallie Ane Glassman, is white and fully initiated in Haiti as a Haitian Manbo.

Religion only survives by evolving, changing, and borrowing. Every religion existing now has borrowed or stolen traditions (and people!) from other geographies and religions. There is no pure religion. To say someone can't practice mojuba because they aren't trained or initiated is bullshit. They may hear the voice of the divine plain as day in their ears. Besides that, then who initiated the very first person who put gris gris together?

NO ONE. That first person received divine information and messages and they listened and they put it together. Then they shared it. Then it worked.

They spent their years serving their community, helping, healing, and teaching. Decades in and decades out they served their people. Because the proof is in the pudding. Talk is cheap-people know who is "real" by who listens and helps out. Who prays for their sick mother or dying child. Who helps them find work and who celebrates health, births, and life with them. That's the damn initiation. That's "for real".

So who comes up to this first rootworker and says "Hey, who initiated you anyway?" I imagine that rootworker gave a perplexed look and then laughed. Only an earthly ego would try to trump divine message and service.

You don't have to prove anything to anyone. You don't have to defend your beliefs, your culture, your race, your gender, your sexuality, etc. However, the sharing of yourself with those you love and care for, the volunteering of information, IS the best way to defend yourself. Truth, love, and peace will offend those who ask you to defend. Shake them up. Only when we are stirred do we stop settling. When we are offended we stop asking others to defend themselves. We break free from our same old congealed ideas and beliefs; our hardened hearts and minds break loose. Only then do we grow. Only then are we fluid. Only then are we free.

Help them be free. State who you are and own it.

A Month of Work-January Picture Post

Just a quick picture post of this month's work so far. I want to start to record each month's creations and workings here, so I can look back through the years. Enjoy!

Doll Babies

Loteria Mojo Hands

Conception Gris Gris

Tools of wood, horn, bone, clay, and stone for my work.

Binding Set

Saint Medals

Coyote Foot Bones

Babalu Aye's Day

Offering to The Virgin of Guadelupe

Protection Mojo

Working for Saint Jospeh for my husband.

Winter Solstice Ritual

Novena for Saint Martha for a client.

Preparing the Home-Spiritual Cleansing of Home and Self

I've gotten several requests to write about the subject of cleaning or cleanliness in the tradition of Hoodoo. Though it's only January, and no where near time for Spring Cleaning, cleaning is a huge part of a Hoodoo's life each and every day.

So as I sit here bundled up with a blanket on this 4 degree day in Michigan, while my house is under a foot of snow, I will write about what I do daily to keep my house fit for working for others.

I often make the joke that Hoodoos are like Pagan Sihks because of the Sihks devout cleanliness and immaculate appearance. I believe cleanliness IS next to Godliness. It is far easier to commit and achieve success in your workings when the energy in your home is clear and free flowing.

Cluttered, dirty corners stifle ashe' and they attract pesky spirits and hoard ill fortune. While clutter is hard to control, even for me, we should try at least weekly to tidy corners, file papers, tend to the recycling, and straighten our work areas. Though I feel this is much less important than the every day cleaning that should take place.

Each morning I begin with cleaning surfaces, which includes all table tops and windows. I work for clients from my home and clean surfaces are a must. One can not make a sacred item or tool for another on a surface that is not immaculate and, as we say, The Fates can't see in through dirty windows. I then wash my dishes and take out the garbage-there can be no stagnant smells or rotting food in the home-not even in the garbage when you begin to work. I put in a load of laundry as to ATTEMPT to make a dent in the pile, make all the beds, and get washed up myself. Personal hygiene is extremely important as well. I do not work without having washed my body physically, which is also synonymous with spiritual cleansing for me. I cleanse my body with a pure white soap, as to aid me in any working that day, apply fresh oil to my head and body (oil is believed to prepare your body as a vessel) usually musk, cocoa butter, or coconut oil, apply a fresh, clean head wrap, clean clothes and always some perfume. A worker is nothing without her own personal spiritual perfume that transforms her into the divine vessel that she is...in my opinion:) I choose a scent that reminds my husband of his time in Morocco; a scent heavy with musk, myrrh, and spice.

 I then choose jewelry that is sacred to who has chosen me that day. I have about 5 Orisha who rotate through me. Each day a new one chooses to be evoked and sometimes invoked. This usually determines what I wear, both clothing and jewelry wise.

I then clean the bathroom and take the cloths and towels used to the laundry. In the spring, I would also sweep my porch and steps and lay fresh brick dust down but in the winter this is not possible.

The floors are then swept with brooms reserved only for my spiritual cleaning. They are not used in any other part of the house or for any other cleaning. For example, I would not use these brooms to sweep out the basement or remove cobwebs. Before I begin sweeping, I like to light an inviting incense such as my home-made kyphi. This doesn't chase spirits away as sage might but instead, begins to call them to the space I am preparing for them. It's important to remember that if you clean below, the floors, you must also clean above,  which the incense takes care of by perfuming the air.

Sweeping is an extremely important part of the cleaning as how you sweep is determined by the type of working you'll be performing that day. If you are working on abundance, fertility, or anything you want drawn to the client, you will sweep from the front door into you home and throw the dirt out of your back door. If it is a matter of breaking a hex, purification, or exorcising, you will sweep from the back to the front and flush the dirt down the toilet to make sure it is away from the home. You would also never sweep around something; all rugs and furniture must be moved. This would also include vacuuming if you have carpet, which we do not.

In the summer (because it is too cold here to open up the house and mop properly in the winter) I would then clean my floors with bluing. Bluing is a mixture of Mexican anil (blue copperas), fresh herbs, flowers, and often your own urine-though you can substitute vinegar if urine throw you off. Though I must point out here that urine is completely sterile and there is no need to fear using it in your bluing. You can also add brown sugar or other elements if you are washing your floors or porch to draw in luck or money.

In the winter, I often just make a small batch of bluing and only clean the immediate floors of my kitchen and dining room where I work and where clients are served.

Why is a clean floor so damned important!? In my tradition, it is believed that in order to be a clear, empty vessel, and to connect with spirit that the energy must be able to pass through your body-from the top of your head through the bottoms of your feet. Like you are a battery containing a circuit. In order for the energy to flow clearly, your circuit must be in good condition and your home is part of this circuit. When it is warm enough to allow, I am always working in my bare feet so that I am constantly able to receive messages, convert them into the ashe' that goes into the item or reading, and ground myself after each clients work.

After these parts of cleaning are complete, one can begin the finishing touches-the parts that are the most fun! Such as making the offerings for the day (as the kitchen must be spotless in order to cook or bake offerings) and cutting fresh flowers or herbs from the garden (when seasons allow) for the boveda. Watering the gardens or inside plants would also take place. And any harvesting from the gardens can be done now too as they will be brought into a sacred space in order to prepare them. This is also the time I set out my prayer incense to be carried through my community; once my home is cleansed I can begin to send blessings to others. I light about a dozen sticks or set out my censer with coals and resin to be wafted through to my neighbors.

This may seem like a lot of work but after doing it for nearly 20 years I have it all down to about a half hour or 45 minutes-I really don't like it when it takes over an hour but that is my own competitive and efficient nature. I simply remind myself that NO time is wasted when preparing room for the spirits and they deserve every bit of time.

Rootworkers and Racketeers

Some of you may have been made aware of the big change Ebay made regarding sellers who provide spell services, tarot work, and similar items. Many of these sellers have now opened shops on Etsy.

I have found that Etsy has now become cheapened and a less authentic marketplace for legitimate spiritual workers. I am embarrassed and angry at some of the sellers who have opened shops now, some that are clearly charlatains and just plain greedy. I have put together this post to help you weed through all of the hoodoo and spell shops on Etsy in order to find the authentic services and items you need.

1. Shops that sell "Big Booty", "Weight Loss", "Breast Enhancement" or "Money Magnet" spells. There is NO such thing. I can guarantee you that. Spells can not effect the physical world in this way. There are spiritual exercises that can teach you to better focus your will and help you change unhealthy habits, which can LEAD to weight loss. There is NO spell that can change your genetics which is what a spell would have to do in order to make one's breasts or backside larger. And if the "Money Magnet" spell promising "extreme wealth and lottery millions" worked, then why the hell isn't the person selling this spell retired in Fiji with their millions of dollars?

2. Claims of "haunted" items or items previously belonging to a "Witch's Estate". How, do you suppose, that ONE person can have access to so many "haunted" items or item's that were once the possession of a witch? How do they have 10 or 12 of the same "haunted" ring available? Why are all of the "haunted" items priced at several hundred dollars and up? Inventory must be replaced when it's sold and there is no logical way that one person has access to hundreds of items that are all "haunted" or once owned by a "witch" especially when dozens of the items are the same piece  of jewellry.

3. Claims that the owner of the shop can show you the "true way" or "unlock secret mysteries". When one makes statements such as these they are preying on vulnerable, the uneducated, and the desperate. Sometimes when we are broken down and someone comes along and says they can "show us the way" we want so badly to belong and for someone to take the reins that we believe anything they say. This is a dangerous situation. Manipulation and can lead to mental abuse, control, and I have seen many people convinced to hand over large sums of money in exchange for "secret teachings". Only to have the "teacher" abandon them once the money has run out.

4. Lessons to to teach you how to be " A Real Witch". No one NEEDS lessons to be a witch. You need an initiation to be part of a tradition, but that's different and even then there are cases where it's not necesary. NO ONE can tell who a real witch is and true witches don't charge for their expertise or training. I have had a coven for 15 years and never charged a student a dime. Teaching is done from the heart-NOT for monetary gain. Teaching for gain is wrong in every religion.

5. Too many credentials. I have run into Pagans in my area who are ordained, initiated, reiki certified, certified herbalist, master psychic, 3 degree Gardnerian witch, hereditary witch, professional tarot reader, 5th generation Cherokee, butcher, baker and candlestick maker...and they are 23 years old. You see my point; simple math can tell you that this person has not even had enough time on this earth to accomplish everything they say they have. Which means they are lying. Lying means they lack confidence in themselves and that they are trying to convince people otherwise in order to gain respect, admiration, or money. Don't be fooled. One real degree or initiation is better than 20 fake ones.

6. Shops that sell nothing that is uniquely "them". I can go buy a cook book today and make 10 recipes; it doesn't mean the dishes will be any good and it doesn't mean I'm a chef. It doesn't mean there is heart or soul or passion in my food. It means I bought  a fucking cook book. There are LOTS of books available out there full of magickal recipes to use in your own practices. But when a shop sells NOTHING inherently unique and everything is out of a book or taken from other's ideas, it means they are trying to jump on the Hoodoo band wagon to make a buck. They don't have years of experimentation, years of client feedback, or years of self exploration. If they did they would be marketing THOSE ideas that are unique and that have worked to help people, not common recipes off the internet.

7. Stock photos or public domain images. When you visit a shop and there is not ONE REAL photo of the person who owns the shop, of their processes to make their items, or photos of where there ingredients come from (garden, woods, etc.) something is awry. In my opinion, if you are selling 200 oils, you should have photos of those 200 oils, not superimposed images and backgrounds with the name digitally changed on the bottle or photos OTHER people have taken that are being used illegally. ACTUAL photos show that you are ACTUALLY into your work. Real photos mean there is a good chance that the worker is real.

8. "Guaranteed" spells. NOTHING in life is guaranteed. It is statistically impossible for spellwork to be successful for every single person who utilizes it. Not every therapy will be successful with every person and spells or workings are a type of spiritual therapy. How these sellers get away with this is the cheap price. They sell you a $20 "spell" and send no photos or reports. Most likely, because no work is ever actually being performed. They are selling so many of these $20 "spells" that if someone does complain, they have no problem refunding them because so many people are falling for the cheap price and empty promise. If it sounds too good to be true, it is. You may have to save up to hire a professional spiritual worker but services and items of worth have a cost.

What's sad, is that I have come across all of the above, I can provide links right now to prove it. What breaks my heart is that people buy into the scams. The public needs to know that there are reputable people out there willing to help with free advise and an ear to listen. And we do it without the incentive of making a buck or inflating our egos.

Sure, shops like the one's above make it harder on those of us who do this because it is our spiritual calling. They make us look like jokes, promote stereotypes and make it difficult for people to find real help without getting ripped off first. In the end it's not about us, it's about you-our clients-being safe, respected, and getting the help and service you need and deserve.

Just keep in mind; there is no reward without hard work and a true spiritual worker will be by your side, toiling along with you.

Working with Grief and Spirits

As many of you know our Uncle Stan passed last Saturday. This has been the most difficult week of my life. With this being the first death I have experienced, it has brought it's own new ideas and thoughts that, at times, overwhelm my life. The grief comes in waves. I try not to let the waves knock me down, Stan would not have wanted that. Instead I try to let the waves wash over me, wear me smooth in some places and carve me in others. It doesn't always work, but I try to surrender yet stay standing.

It took some time for me to figure what I needed to write, what I needed to express.

I have spent a lot of time over the last week thinking about my own children, Stan's children, my grandparents, my life, my husband's life. What it all means and if I am making the most of the life I have. I've made some resolutions to tell people I love them more and to spend more time with the one's I love. To do more, to donate more, to BE more. I have also made a resolution to not let this fade into the background as many resolutions do. We often have an experience, making us acutely aware of changes we need to make, only to have that fire fade, returning to the way we were in a week or a month.

Stan's passing affected my thoughts about my work mostly. I felt guilty that the spirits who are in this home and who communicate with me are here and not with their families. Someone, somewhere was a mother or father or sister or brother to those who visit and aid me in my work. Why are they here with me when there is someone desperate and crying to hear from this spirit? How could I do continue to do this? I felt like I was unintentionally robbing others of something sacred. Such a blessing but what a heavy blessing it can be.

I spent a few days thinking about it as I worked, after all, the show must go on.

I wondered if they come here because I welcome them or believe in them or because I was made differently than other people. I decided those were egocentric ideas and abandoned them. I then settled on the idea that maybe others just haven't learned to communicate with spirits yet or they do it other ways I am not aware of. And who's to say a spirit can not be with me and their family in the same day, hour or minute even?

Obviously, I can not find an answer and I am not sure I ever will. I do know that it is their choice to be here. It's not mine and that is as far as my thoughts can go. Paganism teaches that some things are to remain a mystery, and it's understandable and reasonable to not have the answers to everything. There are just some things we can not understand in this realm. Maybe I will understand when I pass over myself.

Stan made me a better person while he was on this earth. He made many people want to be better and want to help others. He taught by example and he taught that you do the right thing because it's right, not because you'll get a reward or a "thank you" at the end of the day. Don't ever expect a thank you.

He is still teaching me. To be a better servant, mother, wife, and friend. To question myself, my work, and my beliefs. Life is a constant balancing act and each circumstance is a chance to reassess and re-think our lives to keep that precious balance. The balance needed to productive and serve others. Though I lost Stan in this world, he has simply moved over to the side of my world that can't be seen with the eye. I know his dynamic energy is making a star burn, a mandolin play, or a couple dance...and I can handle that.

Memphis Minnie - Hoodoo Lady Blues

How Much for a Pound of Ashe'?

I always do my spiritual studies right before bed. For one, I do not have time during the day (who does?) and I like to sleep on the ideas, theories, philosophies, histories and recipes I read about. I find that this way they enter my dreams and my dreams are where my ideas come.

Last night I was working on a new love incense and pouring over many ideas; serving, ashe', my shop, clients...

I am writing this for myself. Every now and then a spiritual worker must take inventory. What they do, what they do not do, what they will do in future circumstances. Spiritual workers must think A LOT about the future. What ripples will come from the work they have done. We have to think about what others can call us and come to us for. I have chosen to express these thoughts publicly here.

There is a strange give and take as a spiritual worker.

In the beginning, a new client makes a purchase because they heard about you from a friend or read your feedback, or maybe did an engine search. So they purchase an item and they find that when they worked it, it brought positive results, change, success. The key here is THEY worked it. Not me.

So they purchase more.

Clients, Hoodoos, Spiritual Workers, we all get an obsession. An obsession that if one item worked then another will work even better. Even when our problem has already been solved. I will admit it for us all because it is a truth and we have ALL done it.

You can not solve a problem MORE. It's like drying clothes in the dryer; once they're dry, they are dry. They can't get any more dry and your problems can't be "more solved". If shit is better than it was before you began, then call it a day. Because who, among all of us, really deserves things to be perfect? Not me.

We must learn to take what the Fates serve us up as a solution, a blessing, and be on our way. Conversely, if it didn't work, then back off. Take some to think about your approach, try a new idea and plan of attack. Or maybe just let it run it's course and stop trying to control every area of your life. What is life without some challenges anyway? It isn't a life at all. When the challenges stop, so has your breath and the beating of your heart.

This is a hard lesson to teach clients but I have learned to do it. They get mad at me. Then they offer me more money...

Some, would buy and sell me by the pound if I let them.

I don't make promises and I don't take desperate money. If I do that, it is ALL on me and I don't make those kinds of wagers with the spirits. I don't live like that.

This may come as a surprise as I am labeled a "conjure woman" by many, but I don't WORK any spirits. They work me, and that's IF they choose. It is always their choice-not mine-and I don't conjure shit-they are all already there. It's like having a volunteer line and you ask "Who wants to help me with this job?" Hopefully, someone steps forward.

Now, I do work under evocations (note- not INvocations) of certain Saints but they still don't have to help if they don't want to.

One must establish a good working relationship, just as you do with your co-workers or employees. The only difference is that my co-workers can't be seen.

You provide a healthy work environment, comfortable atmosphere, you pay them well in offering and praise. You honor them, you give them altars. You make them happy. We all know a happy person or a happy spirit, is more likely to help when asked.

I don't ask the names the of spirits who step forward to help. Obviously I am speaking of spirits who are not already familiar Saints. I don't want to be able to call them back if they served me particularly well. To learn their names, is to own a part of them. I don't own anyone-in life or spirit.

If I ask later and the same spirit steps up, that's fine, but I don't want to subconsciously over work a spirit because of the results they achieved for a client. It's a personal rule and a good worker has lots of personal-practice rules.

I am a medium. I am an empty vessel between my clients and ashe'. I am a hollow being with an iron shell that holds and attempts to interpret the breath of god into tools for my clients.

I am a medium in the medium of human skin and bones. I am neither small nor large. I am a medium.

I am right in the middle.

Ashe' ebbs and flows. Out from the spirit, into those seeking help.
Stay on that line or you might lose yourself.
In that tide, in those waves, in other's highs and lows...
Their tides become yours, they own a piece of you, you know.
You work for them. For everything. You knew and you gave...
Spirit whispers; "You were called to serve, but not to be a slave."